2021 Garage Sale And Other Things I Will Not Be Doing Ever Again

2021 garage sale is complete. I offer this as way of declaring I am so over having anymore garage sales. Please. If I say I am even thinking of having one, you have my permission to poke me in the eye. Even both of them. Having a garage sale is one of those romantic ideas where you get rid of all your extra stuff and people pay somewhat top price for it. And by top price I mean not many trying to barter on prices. On top of it, your garage is miraculously clean and doesn’t have wet spots due to high humidity; making you liable for a spill someone might take. I also found that I had not considered the labor involved in pricing everything. In my mind these tags were cute and the set up for my garage sale was almost like being in a slightly bohemian-styled second-hand store. Not items sporting ripped masking tape with a barely legible price written on them due to the overwhelming feeling of never getting everything priced before the sale (I didn’t)! Not to mention the humidity causing the tape to fall off or the marker to run (at least twice for each item).

I had considered setting up home spaces. I would highlight to the customers gazing at my belongings, “This over here is the living room area complete with a sofa and ottoman”. Never mind the sofa was a futon and had many nicks with an uncomfortable cushion and the ottoman, no matter how hard I tried to correct this, always showed exactly where we put our feet. Our dirty feet. You see where I am going with this. I created a fantasy garage sale complete with really nice weather and no one asking me if I would accept less money. Ever. Who knew how hideous your once favorite print would look strewn across a table with other hideous looking household items once loved? Honestly, a garage sale set up makes everything look: sweaty, dirty and hideous. I include myself in this description.

I did manage to wear a cute frock. It has a nice sized pocket in front to carry the money around.

It is really a gardener’s apron; which also allowed for cell phones,

markers and ever needed masking tape to be carried.

Between carrying things back and forth (due to rain showers popping up even if not seen on any radars), and throwing tarps over items too large to move back into the garage due to said rain, I was able to create a look of gardening on my frock by simply rubbing my hands on it after moving all the dirty wares back and forth and drying my hands after touching old, dirty vacuums (of which I clearly remember saying to my husband, “Please don’t try to sell those. Can’t we just throw them away?”) * Side note: One vacuum did sell for $5.00

In the end, I simply put things where there was room. On tables, our trailer in the front yard showcased anything in a frame, the brick shelf on front of house, I lined with little trinkets…I didn’t care. I just wanted to get everything out. I still remained hopeful. Hopeful all the work would not be in vain. Hopeful I would still make money to justify the time, energy and sweat equity put into getting this garage sale ready. Let’s cut to end scene.

Day two, midday with multiple showers coming through, my husband calmly says, “Let’s start loading up the car and donating this crap. ”I’m in! Three car loads and a trailer full later, we got rid of most of our garage sale belongings…hooray!!! I cannot begin to describe the freedom I felt in boxing it all up, stashing it in the back of the car like we were leaving with the Von Trapp family! *Side note: You might have missed I wrote, ‘Most of our garage sale items’ I feel compelled to explain. I kept a few things behind hoping a person I knew would want them. Decision is still pending.

I learned much about myself during this garage sale prep, actual and ending time. Let’s just say I will also not be doing these things this summer as well:

1. Stopping at garage sales

2. Helping anyone with a garage sale

3. Offering advice about a garage sale

4. Placing any household items in bins for future garage sales

5. Sitting outside at a baby folding table under an umbrella on hot pavement

6. Or wear my apron other than for gardening

I am looking forward to a wonderful summer!