Did You Wet The Bed?

“Did you wet the bed?” This question came to me from my husband. It was around 2:30 am and he was moving his hand around on the mattress next to me like he was looking for something he lost.

“What?!” I said loudly back to him….mostly from being woken up and maybe mostliest because I wanted to make sure I heard him correctly. “Did you ask me if I wet the bed?” “What is going on?” The answer went as follows: “I think you wet the bed. No. Wait. Yeah, I think it was you. Oh here’s the culprit”, he says as he lifts up a water bottle he found tipped over on our comforter. “Sorry about that.” He rolls over and is back to sleep.

Ok. There are several questions and thoughts going through my head as I contemplate what just happened. First, the implied possibility that my husband thinks I might have wet the bed! Wet. The. Bed. I mentally scan through the recesses of my memory to find any memory of the last time I wet the bed that would lead him to ask me this question. I honestly cannot remember. I am sure I did as a child. But never as an adult.

My next thought is ‘Does my husband think I am at an age where I am wetting the bed?’ I mean the casualness of him asking. Or do I mean the nerve of him asking? Either way, it upset me.

I am deciding between being a little offended and laughing hysterically. I choose the latter. I begin to laugh that weird sleep induced laugh where it is not really governed by any morals or good judgment. I try to stop. I really do. But I cannot stop laughing. I was just asked by my husband if I wet the bed. Not really with any concern or judgment in his voice. Just a simple question so he could put the puzzle together as to why our comforter was wet. And then back to sleep for him.

Needless to say my laughing woke him up. “You asked me if I wet the bed!” I say after he asks why am I laughing so hard. “I know”, he says. “I thought maybe you did. You know we are getting to that age.” Huh.

Oddly I find some comfort in him saying ‘we’. It is time to go back to sleep. But before I settle in I get up to go to the bathroom. Just to be safe.